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My first name is none of your business. They call me Mr Boombastic.

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So what are you waiting for? Threads collapsed expanded unthreaded. I have a mug that says 'World's Greatest Lover'. And two holidays a year Latin America plus one other of my choosing. MegaFriends offers the best in free dating polish personals, photo personals, personal classifieds, and online matchmaking.

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Next year I'm hoping for sexual intercourse. You'll never be a genuinely worthy partner, but try anyway by first replying to box no.

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And a five-door saloon fully air-con. Philanthropy is my middle name. God appeared to me in a dream last night and spoke your name in my ear.

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No need to wait anymore as you will have direct access to the members' entrance. With you, however, I'm going to be a dating old shit from the very beginning.

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Have you ever heard Boards of Canada? When not in my London city office overseeing the day-to-day business of my successful accountancy firm, I can be found leaning inside taxi cabs, spitting wild obscenities and challenging the drivers to fisticuffs. Granted, their honesty subverts the traditional lonely heart form, and we're often surprised, delighted or infuriated by their unwavering and messy emotion, but if an advert doesn't garner a positive ad online - however witty it may be - its author will always consider it a failure.

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David's favourite ads I celebrated my fortieth birthday last week by cataloguing my collection of bird feeders. Their absurdity and humour aren't disguises for some deeper intent. But, just as Scheherazade stays her execution and wins the king's affection with tales of history and humour, so LRB personals compel the reader with their inventiveness, engaging us in such a way as to keep us wanting more.

I think that's my referees covered.

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But only Mother uses that.